Monday, April 18, 2016

Coffee Date #3

Hey Friends, I think it's time for another coffee date!


If we were meeting up for coffee, we'd go to the Durango Coffee Company. I'd get a Carmel Crème Latte and we'd browse around the kitchen section of the store for a while, then sit at one of the café tables in the window and I'd start rambling on and on about how I just can't seem to get it together. I always seem to be scrambling. To get the kids ready for the day. To get all my work done before it's time to pick them up. To get dinner on the table, and to get Swede to eat it. And so it goes. Day after day. I don't feel like I can ever get ahead. I've survived another deadline at work, but I'm already deep in the mire of the I'll-deal-with-that-post-4/15 list. One of the items on the list is to upgrade the blog and start posting more regularly again! I've also started the Great Closet Reorganization, which always makes me feel a little more in control of my life. As Gretchen says: Outer order leads to inner calm.


I know I'm not busier than any other part-time-working-mom-of-two-little-ones. Maybe it's a matter of perspective. Maybe I'm only busy if I think I'm busy. It's not like things will become less busy as the kids grow older, at least not until they are much older. I thought this blog post on Rejecting Busy was really good. I need to accept that life is going to be hectic for the foreseeable future and figure out how to manage it all with more grace. Sometimes I catch myself acting in a way that is not at all who I want to be - impatient or spiteful or pessimistic - but even in the moment of realizing that I can't turn it around. Several years ago, on vacation in La Jolla, I saw an article in the San Diego Reader that involved asking various people to describe themselves in five words. Ever since I've been a little obsessed with the idea. Which five words describe me? Which five words do I WANT to describe me? And how do I make them be the same?

Yikes... I did not intend to be so serious today! This is probably the point in our coffee date in which you think of some urgent other business you need to attend to. Let's lighten the mood a little with my latest favorite photo of Mister Abel.


I love his chubby little wrists! Abel is such a bright-eyed little fellow. He's so interested in everything! It's much easier to get good photos before they start crawling and walking and running and jumping! Or before this is the face they make when you say, "Say Cheese!" It cracks me up though. She is literally saying "Cheeeeese!"


My kids are the greatest blessing of my life, but they sure make things more complicated too! Sometimes I worry that I'm letting these precious days slip by unappreciated. I get caught up in the day to day details of everyday life and miss the gift of their presence. Also, lately I've been second guessing my parenting techniques... If I can even say that I have techniques! It's strange that our instinct to help our children can backfire if we help too much, and they never learn how to struggle and fail and persevere and finally, hopefully, experience the pride of having succeeded on their own.

Hmm, I didn't succeed in lightening the mood very much, Did I? 

I think I need: More sleep. More yoga. More prayer. More coffee. And more coffee dates.

Until next time!

6 comments:

  1. i don't drink coffee but anything with caramel sounds amazing. i love caramel and chocolate non coffee drinks, but whenever i order them at stores without coffee, they get a bit cranky with me lol. i am not a parent, so i don't know about techniques or anything, but i think it's probably relatively normal to second guess yourself. the 5 words thing is really interesting, i have no idea what words i would use to describe myself, what others would use and what i want those 5 words to be. interesting!

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    1. Before I liked coffee, which wasn't until I started working as a CPA 7 years ago (that first tax season was a toughie!) I loved vanilla steamed milk. So comforting. Like a hug. In a mug! Haha.
      I'm so obsessed with the 5 words thing. So far I have: Patient, Kind, Generous, FUN! Wait, That's only 4. I fall short on all of them far too often though.

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  2. I'm not a working mom, but I can still relate to some of how you are feeling. Some days it takes so long to get our sh*t together to get out of the house and I don't know how other mother's do it, especially ones who have more than one kid. I really enjoyed that Reject Busy post too. I'm also bad for trying to squeeze in one last thing before walking out the door and then getting angry when we are late. Some days I'm totally fine with the house being a mess and getting nothing done because it means I spent the day playing and being present, but other days I'm hard on myself and question why I can't get my act together. It sure is tough, this parenting gig. Especially when you have outside hobbies (like reading, yoga, working out, etc) - which we both do! Anyway, just wanted to let you know in this long comment that you aren't alone and it would be a delight to have coffee with you :)

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    1. Sometimes I think being a SAHM is harder. It's a huge relief on especially fraught mornings to get the kids out of the house and just focus on work! This parenting gig, seriously... So hard! It is comforting to know that I'm not alone feeling this way! I really want to try to alter my perspective, or attitude, somewhat, if possible... Embrace the chaos!

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  3. Sending a bit more positivity your way! I've been pretty anxious lately thinking of 'all the things' on our schedule, but really when j break it down, we have hardly anything and I get so worked up about it! I want everyone to be happy and to be on time and to be well fed and to be clean and still work out and be well rested.. HA! Deep breath.

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    1. That's exactly what I want too! For everyone to be happy, clean, well-fed, well-rested, and have a little time to myself to run, read, etc... Doesn't seem like it should be as hard as it feels some days. Deep breath! One thing at a time, It'll all get done. Well, the important things'll get done, at least!

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